Reflections

Some people take time to reflect on the past year as we enter a new one. Every year has 365 days, and yet only a few events will remain in the memory as time marches on.

For me, 2013 became a year of loss when my mom died, bringing me face to face with my own mortality. I have only one uncle and one aunt yet living from her generation. Now, I am "the older generation."

Does that fact frighten me? No. Gives me cause to think, but not fear. I love God and he loves me. Each passing day brings me closer to his absolute presence. In this I rejoice.

2013 also brought about my return to Germany after nine long years. God put a love of Germany in my heart when my first exchange student, Christina, came into my life in 1996. My second student, Steve, told me I would never understand his people until I visited. I listened and flew over the first time in 2000.

This year, I was able to visit 4 of my former German exchange students, and their chosen partners. My cousin, Valerie, and I stayed in Flo's parents' apartment most of the time. I got to meet his lovely girlfriend, Kate. We spent one night with Julian and Janine (she's precious!) near Basel, Switzerland. Two nights with Martina's mother below Munich. Spent a day in Munich and met Martina's young man, Stephan (He's funny and very tall! A genuine "gentle giant").

Valerie and I drove to the eastern part of Germany. Steve flew in from England to see us. We got to see Spreewald, Herrnhut and Dresden while staying with his family.

We had only two weeks, but packed so much into that short time. The only time we got lost was on the drive to the airport to fly home! Valerie calmed me down and later, when her luggage failed to come through to Atlanta, I calmed her. We made a good traveling team!

I wrote more stories for Good Catch this year than all the previous years combined. And I began writing for Patriotic Remnant, a non-profit organization that sends specific prayer needs and requests to one's cell phone every Sunday, free of charge. Contact me if you'd like to learn how to get these prayers to your phone!

I went to Ohio twice, once in April and again in November. My roots remain deep there and I want to write about my personal family history of that area in my next book.

I got to be the keynote speaker Friday night at the annual Salisbury Prison Symposium - a huge honor! (same prison I wrote about in Butternut Tears) Debi accompanied me on that jaunt and we met a kindred spirit, Mary Gorman of Boston.

Debi, Ayleen and I discovered a Bethel Church down in Brunswick, GA, that completely satisfies our need for soaking worship. It is a long jaunt and we don't go every Sunday, but believe with all our hearts that, like Lydia in the Bible, if we remain faithful, God will bring a worship leader TO US so we can burn in and with God's glory in Effingham County.

Bob and I remain committed to keeping each other entertained and on our toes.

The last milestone event of 2013 took place 5 days ago. We adopted Otis, a chocolate lab, from our local shelter.

I leave 2013 with smiles and a contented heart. 2014 will bring its share of tears and laughter, joy and sorrow, but in all ... HE will never leave or forsake me.

God Rox!

Why Fast?

It's been 8 years since Father God called me to fast. As 2014 approaches, I sense he wants me to join with thousands of other Christians in the Daniel Fast.

What is the purpose of fasting? To bring our triune being into alignment with our Creator, God. We are not humans having a spiritual experience, but rather spirit beings having a human experience. (Liberty Savard)

Fasting is very uncomfortable because it forces me to face how human I am and how much I coddle myself, consciously or unconsciously. Paul says he brings his body into submission and fasting does this. Fasting shows me just how selfish and self-centered I really am.

Fasting begins with God showing me my heart. Jesus is the light of the world and part of that light shines in my inward parts, creating necessary pain. I become keenly aware of my own un-holiness in the light of God's holiness. This is not to demean me. It is to purify me. "Our God is a consuming fire." The closer we move toward God, the more impurities he burns out of us.

After God has cleaned out my heart, he begins to share his. This makes the process completely worthwhile as he shares his desires and secrets with me.

Fasting is challenging because of our society. We are never supposed to suffer a moment of discomfort. We are encouraged to indulge in every desire and then medicate ourselves back to wellness.

I've never undergone a fast that I regretted. I don't look forward to the cleansing part of it, but understand it. Olympians become Olympians by strenuous exercise, not through self-gratification. Those who train the hardest usually receive the greatest awards.

I hope you will consider joining me on this adventure! May we all grow deeper into our Papa God!

Check out the website for the Daniel Fast: http://www.daniel-fast.com

Gift Exchange

I'm standing before Jesus, cradling a tiny gift in my hands. Jesus is holding a large box in both of his.

Jesus says, "Let's exchange gifts."

"I can't."

"Why not," he asks.

"Because mine is so small and yours is so big."

"Is it your all?" Jesus asks.

"Yes."

"So is mine. Jesus smiles. "It's even. Let's trade."

The Gang

THE PAST IS PASSED

The past is passed and I can only visit it through the Blood of Jesus. ~K. Drury

Think on the freedom of that statement! Yesterday, Papa God showed me a great revelation:  Whether I think the world revolves around me and my desires OR judge and lament my many failings with intense scrutiny, the end result is the SAME: self-absorption.

Recently I heard a person, whom I admire greatly, say: "Lay your Bible down for six months and see what happens."  WOW! What a concept. Did you grow up as I did, continually warned to "have your quiet time" every morning. Have you struggled to stay awake, rushed through so many chapters of the Bible, read a devotional or two ... and still came away empty? Did that emptiness translate to guilt, "I've failed God ... AGAIN! So, rather than entering into God's rest, we enter into self-condemnation and our focus remains on SELF.

Galatians 3:9 declares Abraham as a man of faith. Yet, Abraham failed again and again. He partially obeyed when God told him to leave his home. Partially obeyed when God told him to leave his family. Gave up his wife TWICE when he was afraid for his life. Stumbled in faith when Sarah gave him Hagar as a wife.

Abraham messed up over and over. Did God EVER pull the plug on him and say, "Sorry, Bud, but you've blown it one to many times. All promises cancelled."

God keeps his promises because HE IS GOD. I may stumble and fall for selfishness, fear, greed, etc. etc. My faults do NOT change God.

Throw away self-analysis and self-condemnation and self, self, self. Go ahead, put your Bible down and then meditate on what is already in your heart. Meditate on the vastness, greatness, beauty, strength, loving-kindness, mercy, grace, peace, glory, love, power, steadfastness of GOD. Let self be swallowed up in HIM. As Jesus said, "I in you and you in me."

Blessed is the person you choose and invite to live with you in your courtyards. We will be filled with good food from your house, from your holy temple. Psalm 65:4

Last Sunday I tasted the LORD as I haven't for 8 years. I had to drive 90 miles to find soaking worship.

Keep a bride from the groom she yearns after and what will one get? A lovesick, starving bride. Every fiber of my being stretched itself to encompass God's awesome presence! I jumped. I whooped. I sang. I REJOICED.

Next week I'll take my flags and celebrate my love for Jesus and HIS LOVE for me in violent, unstoppable, unhindered worship!

O God, my God, Father, Friend, Lover, Comfort, Rock, Protector, Guide, my ALL. Thank you, thank you for hearing the desire of my heart and answering it. Eight years of longing dissolved like a snowflake in the Sahara in YOUR PRESENCE.

I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU!!

God Controls the Storm

A dear friend just sent me a text asking me to pray for safety as she drove through a fierce hailstorm. Immediately God gave me a vision of His Mammoth Hands stretched over her vehicle. The hail bounced off his closed fingers but every so often, He'd split two and some hailstones rained down. Then, He closed His fingers again.

Moral: God controls how much storm hits us. Nothing passes through His fingers without His knowledge. Period and amen.

God's Heart

Why did God call David, a man after my own heart? David, the adulterer, conniver, murderer? Because David's whole being was consumed with desire to be with God, in God's presence. David fled to God, sins and all, because he trusted God. He knew God. He loved God with his whole being.

I've observed countless teens treat their parents like discarded potato peelings, yet in a crisis go running to them. Why? Because the kids understand relationship. They know that they know that Mom and Dad are Mom and Dad no matter what stupidity the kid acts out.

David understood relationship. He knew that he knew that the Almighty Father loved him ... no matter what. Isn't it interesting that David begs God not to remove His Holy Spirit in Psalm 51 - the famed "prayer of repentance"? So, can we conclude that God's spirit rested on him before he repented? It appears that way.

After years of worrying whether I "please" God or not, I now rest in relationship. He is my Papa and I am his daughter. I may stumble, fall, do stupid things, but I cannot sever that relationship. My heart rests in Him and who He is, not in me and what I may do, or fail to do.

My soul pants after You, O God. My inner being thirsts for God, for the Living God: when will I come and appear before God? Psalm 42:2,3

How Much of God Do You Want?

Many years ago, a very wise woman spoke those words to me: How much of God do you want? Do I want a God to forgive my sins? I've got it. Do I want a God who rescues me from hell? I've got it. Do I want a God who will take me to heaven someday? I've got it.

Is that all there is to life? Just get my sins forgiven and hope for heaven someday? Do I only live in the past of sins forgiven and the future of going to heaven?

What about the present? What about NOW? Jesus didn't talk about "going to heaven." He talked about bringing the Kingdom of God to earth. He talked about eternal life. Is eternal life merely "going to heaven?"

Eternal life is more, so much more. Eternal life is the life of God IN me. I need God NOW. I need his presence NOW. If he's in hell... I'll go to hell to find him. If he's in heaven, I'll go to heaven to seek him out. If he's on earth... I will search the ends of the earth to find him.

I can't rest in the past of 'sins forgiven' and hope for the future of 'going to heaven.' I gotta have God, NOW. Give me JESUS. He prayed, "Your kingdom COME TO EARTH as it is in heaven. Bring me Jesus. I need him NOW.

Inconvenient Events - God's Opportunity

Yesterday my router stopped working, only hours before a scheduled interview for a writing job. Panic nipped at my heart. I sent a text to trusted warriors to pray and called my interviewee to let him know of the issues.

A dear friend stepped forward and offered her house. I dashed over and set up my computer, speakers, microphone and voice recorder with minutes to spare.

This morning I got online for two minutes and again, the router kicked me off. I have another interview, so I trotted back to my friend's house and set up again.

My friend met me at the door, spiritually worn out. Then she left to do a show in an Alzheimer long term facility.

Inconvenience and physical exhaustion had zapped us both. So, what to do? I went to YouTube and put on a Bethel Church worship service. Time to blast the demons from the house and our lives.

So maybe the router went out because God had a job for me to do.  Just trying to flow in the Holy Spirit.

God's way is perfect. Always!!

The Other Side

       My cousin faces overwhelming obstacles. Have you ever been there? Pushed to the point of absolute, engulfing despair?
       I have.
       My heart bleeds for my cousin.
       BUT!
       I am now on the other side. I KNOW the goodness of my Papa God. I KNOW the absolute, unchanging love of my Papa God. I KNOW the unfailing faithfulness of my Papa God.
       My heart bleeds for my cousin BUT I anticipate her journey to THE OTHER SIDE


       I will praise you in the storm
       I will lift my hands
       You are who you are
       No matter where I am
       Every tear I cry
       You hold in your hand
       Though my heart is torn
       I will praise you in the storm.
                         Casting Crowns



Only a person who's been there can write such words. I know my Papa God loves my cousin every bit as much as he loves me and HE WILL SEE HER THROUGH THE STORM. God Rocks!!

I'm Alive

I awakened this morning to discover I'm still alive. Jet lag truly exists! I spent all of yesterday lolling in bed, watching inane shows, playing card games on my computer, eating and napping - especially the latter!! Couldn't find energy to do anything. This morning I awakened before 8 am, dragged all the dirty laundry to the machines and got started. I will leave today or tomorrow to drive to Florida to help my brothers dispense with our mother's vast accumulation of stuff. She frequented Goodwill on a regular basis. I should have bought some stock in the company for what she bought and donated over 70 years!! People ask why I am not in mourning over Mom's passing. The truth is, I am still rejoicing in the perfection of God's timing. Mom's mind remained razor sharp to the end and she died exactly as she wished - surrounded by her treasures. Mom's body was giving out, joint-by-joint, and serious decisions as to how and where she'd live loomed on the near horizon. God took care of all that and took her home. She is now pain-free and probably in search of the closest heavenly Goodwill! *grin* God's timing remains perfect. I rest in that.

Crap Happens - God wins

I returned from my 4th trip to Germany yesterday. The enemy robbed me of biological children. God gave me kids through hosting exchange students. My mom died while I was in Germany. Those who know me best, know that Mom and I had a rocky relationship for many years. The last year of her life was filled with forgiveness, love, reunion. God made sure I was surrounded by families who have known and loved me for years when Mom graduated to heaven. Bottom line: Crap happens, but God wins. I've got kids and families who love me and I got my mom back. God rocks!